In Writing we were writing a rhyming story with a moral! Here is mine and Hope you enjoy!
Gambling
Once there were two boys named Peanut Butter and Smoked Brisket, who lived under the watchful eye of the Elder Malt Biscuit.
Once they wandered far, far, far away from their home, and while finding a way back, they spotted a Casino. They went inside and played. Played. PLAYED. But after they left, they felt betrayed. The Casino Owner entered wearing a suit of teal, as soon as he saw the money they made, he struck up a deal. He said “If you win another round, you get all the Casino’s currency, but if you lose I get everything! Including your very property!” Blinded by greed Peanut Butter rolled the dice, but Smoked Brisket could tell the Casino Owner wasn’t very nice. The Casino Owner was a natural, everyone would always lose and when they did they cried “Bad News!”. They left the Casino feeling Glum “Hey! Don’t let the door hit your Bum!”. As Smoked Brisket from sadness was about to Vomit, the Casino Owner followed for the deed to their house was promised. As Elder Malt Biscuit cried tears of sad, on that day Peanut Butter and Smoked Brisket learned gambling, was bad.
Hi Sione, I'm Zach a year 5 from St Bernadette's School. I think that your story was creative and the moral was very clear. It was cool how you made the characters food and how you put them in a scene that could happen in real life. I look forward to hearing more from you
ReplyDeleteThank you Zach! I'm glad that you liked my story, and that you could see the moral. Thank you for Commenting.
Delete~Sione
Hi Sione,
ReplyDeleteI like your story about Peanut Butter and Smoked Brisket. The story was interesting and I like how you rhymed it as well. It was very good. You did an amazing job. Maybe next time you could add more of what you have learnt example what you find hard what you like about your writing and so on.
but well done! :)
Eden